so sick

homesickness is taking me to torturebed
i feel confused and numb.

the noise around me is disturbing me in every little measure
i couldn't take any screams or doors banging
i feel like i miss a beat in my heart if i hear any


i curled up on my bed and wonder what happened and why is it happening to me

i put hope on a total stranger. thinking he could be my coffee buddy like ben did, or just someone to have fun with. but it was hung to high. at the end it fell and turned into despair.
stupidity.